amazing family, plethora of great friends, a welcoming home, a beautiful california life, a loving husband, and a precious baby boy. my life is so perfect. except for this one thing.
when i really evaluate my life, it’s quite minute. and essentially a problem that shouldn’t matter as much as it does. but that’s the thing. it does matter to me. It matters a lot and it makes me very unhappy.
but sometimes i wonder, should it really make me this unhappy? i’ve got everything else going for me… does this one thing really need to be there to complete my happiness?
this has me thinking about humans in general. or maybe it’s just women. can women ever be content?
To be content does not necessarily imply “happiness” or “satisfaction” – it means that you are at peace with the circumstances.
To be content, as far as I’m concerned, is to be able to be happy in the life you’re living; to have the ability to be grateful for what you have and enjoy life.
i feel us women have this innate response to a good life, we enjoy it until we get to a point of self destruction. we bring upon our own misery because we try to find a reason to cry.
which brings me to my next point. have you men ever wondered why women get so angry or sad or jealous for no goddamn reason? has it ever occurred to you that we feel those emotions because in a way it actually feels good? that’s right, you heard me. it feels good to hurt. it exhilarating to feel strongly and passionately in a negative manner (as well as positive) and it’s extremely satisfying to cry, scream, or even punch it out.
it reminds me of the idea behind the movie monsters inc. the monsters would collect energy from scare screams but realized they receive ten times more energy from making the kids laugh. interesting concept which can be implied here except the opposite way. we know happiness feels good but sometimes it feels good to just hurt.